Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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