just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
