I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
