u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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