piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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