I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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