I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
