They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
