Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
