There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they're like a gay fantastic four
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
