Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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