YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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