Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
40s are totally the cure
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
