just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
