Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
