Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
