I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
