3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
