I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
