Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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