It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
