i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
