Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
