maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
