Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate all girls vehemently.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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