dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
