You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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