i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
