Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
