had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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