Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
COCAINE IS GR8
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
