Cold hands, warm shart.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
