Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
