There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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