I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I wish i was in the wii world.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
