ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
