i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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