If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
whose ass print is on the piano?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
