so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
