chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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