If i come over, it means nothing
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
false alarm, still single
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
