a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
