In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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