I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
