remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
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