I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
This house was built for laser tag.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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