it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
