I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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