my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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