I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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