If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
