Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
