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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
