she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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