i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
